Groundhog Day

It’s the same story at the moment, I wake up and have a few seconds where I feel normal, and I can enjoy that sleepy daze. And then it hits me like a ton of bricks; I either find myself running to the toilet or laying there waiting with that horrendous sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. I might have the chance to fetch the 1-year old from his cot before it hits me, then I’m running toward the other bathroom. I may be ok and get back to my room before it hits. That’s where I’m thankful for having an older child; he’ll grab the 1-year-old and explain to him that mummy is being sick because of the baby in her tummy.

The first time he did this, it completely & utterly melted me. He was probably too young to remember the sick times in my last pregnancy. Saying hi to me then meant coming into the bathroom where I pretty much spent my days. Those were probably weird and confusing times for him, but I guess as he’ll one day understand, were completely worth it as it gave him his precious brother. It’s so heartwarming for me to hear him talking about the baby in mummy’s tummy, how he knows no one should knock my tummy as it’s keeping baby safe. We’ve asked what he would like, and he’s requested another baby brother.

Once we’re finally up and out of bed, we come downstairs where at the moment the children get chucked anything edible which doesn’t involve cooking of any kind. I can’t even bare the smell of the toaster in the morning. I take myself to the sofa or the table where I go back into that tired daze, and I wonder how I’m going to get through the day. Any positivity is usually gone by the next round of sickness or gagging. Sometimes I’m not even sick, my body will feel like it wants to and I’m left dry heaving. Not good for the throat and the headaches are often cropping up.

I chatted about the tiredness the other day, like wow. I’m left wondering if there’s anything at all I can take which might help it? And that’s coming from the one who despises swallowing medicine of any kind, especially unnecessary stuff. I know that eating right will help, that I’m trying to. Half the foods suggested I can barely even look at let alone bring to the mouth.

I do feel like I’m failing my family, these are not how the summer holidays are meant to be. There’s so much we could be doing, but at the moment nothing is a possibility which how unpredictable this feeling is. I am counting my blessings that we decided to have number 3 before taking those next steps on the career ladder; I couldn’t imagine holding down any job while experiencing this.

I’m left wondering how women get through the working day while going through the harshness of a first trimester? How do you get through it?

Lucky for me at the moment, the husband gets home from a night shift and takes over and lets me go to bed. This is so sweet of him, but the children are fantastic and will get on with their own devices while he rests. He’s back to day shifts tomorrow, it’s been nice having him home at midday, but I know it will be nice having him there to help with the morning where I suffer the most. Hopefully the 1-year-old will be kind to me with his afternoon naps, and that will be where I take advantage of that time to grab one for myself.

We got a letter through yesterday with a scan date for next week; this pleases me lots as we’ll be able to find out exactly how far gone I am. The protruding bump which has appeared out of nowhere does believe me to think I will be exactly 12 weeks come the scan, guess we’ll find out soon enough.