For some reason, I couldn’t let World Autism Awareness Day go past without a blog post, even though we have not had an official ‘Autism’ diagnosis it is a big part of our lives. It is what we have based our pathway to helping Dylan on; we use the guides on how to work with youngsters with Autism in the hope of unlocking Dylan. I did feel like a fraud using the ‘A’ word at first, but now I have pushed that aside as it becomes more noticeable that this is most likely what our toddler has.
There are days where it is accepted but there days where it knocks me back. If my emotions are all over the place with this ‘condition’, then I cannot begin to imagine where Dylan is at with it. He is a month away from turning 3, with turning this age I hope we can find some answers so that we can maximise all our efforts into doing what is best for him. I have read early intervention is invaluable and the key to helping them.
I know there are no rules when it comes to Autism and that ever child is unique with it and I think this is something I struggle with. It can be so unpredictable, one minute I think I know what is happening and I come to understand it and the next it is all change and what I came to know is no more. He was once terrified of the Hoover, like loud noises which send him into meltdown the Hoover was one of those triggers but then one evening he became obsessed with the Hoover, like not wanting to leave it alone and was wanting to stick his fingers into the suction pipe and discovering himself the button to turn it on. It came in the way of being a danger to him; he doesn’t understand that buttons are not to be played with and that the suction was too much for his little hands. You think I would have been happy he ha became at peace with the noise but this in many ways raised just as many eyebrows and was a concern.
Playing in the dirt was something that was a joy to watch, it reminded me he was a normal boy, but this has recently been chucked out the window. I used to like not being able to tick that box n my head where it says some autistic children do not like getting dirty, but now that is a ticked box for us. He no longer wants to play in the mud or go near sandpits, our idea of building him a mud kitchen in the garden for his birthday has been put on hold. I had to hold him tight in a big sandpit yesterday as his sister wanted to play, she wanted to build sandcastles and dig in the sand, so I had to split myself between making the two of them happy.
His Birthday throws up more reminders of how different life is with Dylan compared to his siblings. Parties are difficult for him; sometimes he can be overwhelmed by them or other times he will sit in the corner not quite knowing what to do with himself. Present wise we have no idea what to get him, he does not show interest in one particular thing. If we were to be asked what Dylan likes the most, then we would reply with board jigsaws, but these are a major source of repetitiveness for him.
This morning I did have a cry as I woke up and browsed social media to see talk of World Autism Awareness Day, to see inspirational quotes, images of Autistic children and stories from them as well as parents of Autistic children. I was flooded with emotions of how life is for us; I try not to think about the future, but you just cannot help but wonder what it may involve. We currently take each day as it comes with what is going on, we note down anything of concern, and we go to all the support groups available to us.
For now, we are sailing along, some days it is smooth sailing but others it feels like we are facing a fierce storm with no end in sight.