You may not believe, but in actual real life, I’m quite a shy person. I’m not a fan of group situations, I do love being in them, but I’ll find myself being rather scatty and overwhelmed. And if you suggest to me that I talk by myself in front of them all, I’ll run in the opposite direction. I had the opportunity the other week to go on channel five news to defend Homebirth after it was suggested that more women give birth at home. I toyed with the idea, but in the end, I had to say no, my lack of confidence about talking in front of people gripped me. Plus when I added the fact I wasn’t just going to be talking to people in a room but kinda like most the UK. I freaked. Which is a shame because as you may tell I’m rather passionate about Homebirth.
So many factors come into play, one being that I tend to stutter and forget what I’m going to say when I’m nervous. I’ll get muddled, and I just won’t make any sense to anyone listening. This use to apply to phone calls as well but I’m slowly getting over that unless you count answer phones. Answer phones turn me into a nervous wreck. I wasn’t always like this; I used to work in pubs for a living back when I was younger, conversations to many different people, especially strangers were part of the job.
Guess it’s another reason why I enjoy blogging so much, I get to say whatever I want to strangers without shaking at the needs. I can sound like a total idiot and get away with it. I can make as many mistakes, stutter along with my terrible grammar and not have to answer to anyone face to face. It’s ok if I don’t make sense to anyone right here, because I make sense to myself and that’s all that matters.
Another subject I’m passionate about is Breastfeeding, and I came across the chance to talk to parents to be about my own Breastfeeding experience. I saw a Facebook request from our local Breastfeeding group for some mums who have Breastfed past/present to come and chat to parents to be at the children’s centre. Some fellow NCT ladies had replied saying how they’ll come along to talk about experiences, but I knew that I could probably help out with the demonstration side seeing as Charlotte will probably be feeding around that time. The fact it was on the way back from the morning school run made the idea of going easier. Though I was tempted to walk straight past that morning as it dawned on me that I would have to speak in front of people.
Those knees started to shake when put on chairs at the front of the room, which meant I couldn’t easily blend in. I think what helped me was thinking how five years ago I was a new parent to be and what would I of liked to of heard. I kept telling myself to bottle this shyness just for now to share everything I’ve learnt & to put myself in their shoes where all of this was so new. It was nice being with the other NCT girls & joining in with what they were saying & going off their leads. Guess I had to let my passion overtake those nerves when it came to sharing my experience I did, and I enjoyed sharing it once I had started. I told them about how I bottle-fed with the first and how I could have probably breastfed if I had support such as the local breastfeeding group back then. I talked about my first actual breastfeeding experience with Dylan over those 15months and how we started with a tongue tie and then my breastfeeding journey now with Charlotte. I like how I showed how every child is different because that is something new parents should know.
By the time I had finished talking about this, she had awoken from her snooze ready to feed. I just did it, discretely without a fuss. I know they were all watching and I hope they saw it’s not a painful drawn out process. I went from crying baby to happy content baby in seconds. I dont think I even flashed anything and I hope they took away from it that once it’s established for them, they’ll be achieving the same. They asked us lots of questions, and we answered. We shared tips with them, my favourite being the cheap vests to stick under normal t-shirts. They saw that in action as I was wearing a vest & tshirt combination when I was feeding. I hope what they away from the session is that there is lots of help out there if needed, we’re blessed in Worcestershire to have some amazing Breastfeeding counsellors. Our local group is one of the most friendliest groups; I enjoy it because I can take all the children as they supply toys for the toddlers to play with. And there’s always cake. Lots of cake.