So here we were two weeks after our first Growth Scan, the one which I hoped would be our only growth scan before being signed off from consultant led care. That wasn’t to be the case as they were unhappy with her growth and wanted to keep an eye on it to see what was happening. We went on to have a Doppler Scan the following week and this week was our second Growth Scan. Just like that first one, this didn’t play out how we hoped it would either.
We were booked in for our scan in the afternoon, with midwife and consultant afterwards. Like normal baby girl was on one of her hypes, she wasn’t going to stay still for anyone. Something which I think gives that growth scans its major flaw in its measurements. I have to admit to not paying much attention to what we saw on screen in the form of a baby, all I wanted to know was that she had got bigger. Think at one point I did get teary as I led there watching the sonographer do all the measurements and repeat doppler. She knew we were desperate to see how she was plotting and called us over once she had done the measurements to show us the growth chart.
We were happy with what we saw, so she wasn’t up on those lines, but she was on her line. She was growing and had continued to do so in a constant line. This pleased us and showed us growth hadn’t stopped and her parents, we were happy with what we saw. But was the consultant?
Back to the waiting room to wait for Midwife, she came and called us. Sent me for a delightful wee sample, took blood pressure and we just generally chatted. At that point, I had got a txt from Oli’s school stating that school wouldn’t be on the next day due to severe weather warnings which we laughed about. Think it was the blue skies out of the window that made it seem unreal at that time. We saw one of the Midwives I knew rather well when we left the room and the 4 of us (we had a student Midwife with us) stood round looking at my growth chart and I think we were all happy she had been growing and that she hadn’t dropped. I know they couldn’t say anything until the Consultant had had her say.
I knew the moment I heard her say you‘re not going to like what I have to say‘ that she was going to chuck our plan of a Homebirth out the window. What I replied with was something along the lines of how she wouldn’t like what I had to say and that was that I would have our Homebirth. Because the baby is below the 10th centile (according to this line) she would rather me have a hospital birth. The exact words in my notes are ‘Emma planning home birth despite advice’. We were told that the Supervisor of Midwives would most likely be visiting us to talk about this. We left the room with what felt like this awkwardness, but I knew what we had decided the decision for us.
As we got back to the car, we were filled with these feelings which were mostly of confusion, sadness and we felt deflated. Just like we did after that first growth scan. The evening I spent like that, I spent it gutted that our last pregnancy just didn’t go appointment/stress-free. We’ve had it all before in pregnancy, and we had it this time around with that pain I had at eight weeks and the bleed at 16 weeks. Just wanted this last bit to go smoothly, it does show how every pregnancy is so different and how it can just be so unpredictable.