I think I spoke too soon on the sickness front. Because we had found out so much later then we had with previous pregnancies, I actually thought this one was going to be completely different. I thought my body was going to be kind to me this time, our last planned pregnancy. I hoped I was going to experience a normal one after all the first one gave me gallstones and the second, well what didn’t it give me!?
Today started with me sobbing on the bathroom floor; I had such a bad evening yesterday that saw my first wave of sickness and me passing out that waking this morning to cry before the kids woke up just all had a tumbling effect on me. I was living in fear of HG coming back again before I even got pregnant. You only have to read any of my previous posts to know how terrified I was and am of it coming back.
When the boys had woken, I thought I was ok to grab Dylan. Bought him into my room like our day starts, to have a morning feed in bed. Before I could even start feeding him, I was running into the toilet. Thankfully Oli is so much older now than when he witness me doing this the first time around, he held Dylan back and explained to him that Mummy wasn’t very well because of the baby in her tummy. Hearing this made that unpleasant few minutes, much more bearable.
I have mixed feelings today; I’m feeling incredibly guilty that we got pregnant despite knowing I could become ill again. Was it fair of me to do so? I feel like I have no right whatsoever to complain. I guess I can say it’s manageable at the moment, I’m able to get out of bed, and I’m drinking water. Neither of these was possible with the last pregnancy, by eight weeks the only fluids I was getting on board were via a drip in hospital. I feel another wave of sickness coming as I type this, knowing what’s going to happen is almost as bad as it actually happening.
I may be saying hello to Morning Sickness; I’m just praying that I don’t go on to say hello to Hyperemesis Gravidarum and everything that comes with that.