It’s slowly starting to feel like I’m pregnant again, one minute I’m perfectly healthy and full of life and energy and the next I feel like that’s all been snatched from me. This morning I awoke with a banging headache, which I think the weather might be to blame and my wisdom tooth was hurting again after not playing up yesterday when I was going to phone the dentist. I have to admit I’m much better on the days when the man is at home, I’m resenting him having to work at the moment, but then I know this is what helps to keep a roof over our head. I still blame our trip to the hospital which I’m still trying to blog about; we were in for six days from the day Dylan was born – the six days the man had off work. So his time which was meant to be spent at home with us was instead spent making the trip back and forth to the hospital to see us.
It was easier to get things done yesterday when I had that extra pair of hands around, was also a break for my arms. When I had done feeding Dylan, the man was pretty hot on changing nappies/winding him giving me that break from doing it all. Yesterday did seem to be a non-stop feeding day, but I think the weather was also to be blamed for this. We did have a good day yesterday where we collected our wedding rings and went and viewed some newborn photos of Dylan. Can’t wait to share some pictures from that photo shoot with you soon, it made me broody just looking at them.
I’m determined not to let any kind of depression come into play; I think it’s a matter of me thinking too much at times and sometimes letting things get to me. Of course, these first few weeks we’re going to be difficult, why would they be easy. I’ve doubled the number of children I had, and I’m learning new things all over again or something completely from scratch like I am with the breastfeeding. I’m getting used to disturb sleep again which I know is making me rather scatty in the daytime and it feels like breastfeeding can take up my energy despite only being sat there to feed him.
I have so much to look forward to and so much going for at the moment that I kinda feel guilty for feeling off more often than not. I guess this is where I need to start sorting out my days, getting out of the house (getting used to being out and about with 2!) and doing things with other people and stop using my house as a safety net. I think I’ll start this afternoon with a walk to the supermarket, small steps and all that.