I woke up this morning wondering if it’s something I’ve been doing? This tape measure business is really starting to haunt me; I know the moment it touches my pubic bone that it’s going to say I have a tiny bump. It insults me even though the silly thing can’t even talk. I was wondering if it was those odd tiny glasses of wine that I’ve had or if it was all that sickness at the beginning which made me so ill, I couldn’t consume food or drink.
When my midwife leaves, I’m always left reeling from something not smiling but pondering her words and what actions are going to happen next. Not the way it should be, can’t I just skip away from an appointment one day smiling? Yesterday’s midwife appointment left me with a little cross below the line again which means another growth scan which my normal midwife has booked for today. Though the midwife did say that I’m engaged, which would make sense seeing as I’ve started to feel immense pressure down below and his position feels like it’s changed.
I’ve already got to visit the hospital today anyway to get that 24-hour heart pack fitted so they can see how my heart is doing. This I particularly want to go smoothly as if all the results come back normal then I continue with my home birthing plans. So no getting me excited!
I know it’s all for mine and my babies best, so I’m not moaning because I know I should lap in whatever the health professionals deems fit for us and to make sure we’re ok. It’s just I know deep down that my baby’s growing again and that my bump size isn’t reflecting baby’s size, the growth scan will show this like it has done the last few times.