I’m trying to stay calm, I really am. Though it is kinda difficult when you already know what’s coming, that pain from the contractions and actually pushing out a baby (eek!) it’s at the back of your mind. You can’t help but to have moments where you just sit and think about it. I have got the whole ‘bring it on’ attitude going on though part of this is from wanting it to all be over. The back just seems to be getting increasingly painful, but at least I know this is because of baby’s position. Trying to keep myself distracted by doing various things but it is difficult when with the pain, all you want to do is curl up in bed with a hot water bottle.
Yesterday I woke up and I just knew it was going to be one of those days, the emotions just kicked straight in, and I was feeling very fed up and down. I know it’s just those bloody hormones but I really just didn’t feel like me. Thankfully I had the lovely Roz come over to see me with her boys so that we could hit soft play together; I secretly think it’s because she thought newborn cuddles would send me into labour.
Sadly our afternoon was cut short as Oli very quickly came down with something. You know your child is not very well when his turns his nose up at chips and grabs you his shoes/coat and wants to leave the soft play out of his own free will. This wasn’t what I needed, and I felt pathetic for not knowing what to do with him, I didn’t know what to do with myself at the time. He perked up before bed, and after a lovely lie in this morning and today, he seems to be back to his usual self.
The man seems to be having more little freakouts than me, bless him. We discussed colostrum the day before yesterday and what this involved. He must have spent the whole of that evening thinking about breastfeeding as it was bought up as a topic of conversation when we went to bed. He admitted how he was going to be jealous of that bonding I would gain with baby via breastfeeding and how he couldn’t wait to feed the baby. I reassured him that skin to skin contact will be just as good for him and that his son will love hearing his heart beating and he may like being on his chest just as much as mine. Though I’ll be the one with the good stuff.