But I Am Calm

So I guess this is what the doctor was concerned about when he wanted to send me home with those tablets which I couldn’t have because of how low they made my blood pressure. I didn’t think anything else would happen after the other week thinking it would just be a one off. Last night I spent most the night feeling rather breathless, I just thought it was because I am slowly getting fat and that this is just one of those things. But then I still felt that way this morning, and I still feel like it now. It just feels so different to how I usually feel; I was describing it yesterday to the man as when someone reaches for their inhaler when they need it.

It just still being out of sync this morning, I’m not doing anything at all to agitate it. Like last night all I was doing was trying to go to sleep, I even managed to get some sleep and then woke up breathless and not feeling myself. Decided to phone my midwife just to have a chat this morning about it but couldn’t get through, managed to get through to the maternity ward at the hospital who suggested I come in but have agreed to see my doctor instead locally before I take the trip all the way to the hospital. The midwife started to chat on the phone about anxiety, and I had to agree with her as I was shaking at the time and it’s kind what I imagined it to be like. Though I have no idea what could have caused it, I have no stress at the moment and nothing to cause this. I’m calm, I am. Yes, I’m annoyed that I just don’t seem to be 100% all the time, but I’m trying not to let it bother me for baby’s sake as well my own.

The man is saying I should have mentioned about my fingers swelling, but I’m pretty sure that could just be down to using my iphone. Will go my doctor’s appointment this evening and be honest with him about how I feel when this is happening. When my heart did start to play up earlier, I did everything the previous doctor said about pretending to have a poo and drinking cold water. I seriously did drink lots of cold water, the numerous trips to the toilet proved that.

I’ve totally gone beyond the point of telling myself to man up, I just missing feeling right and hate that I can go from feeling so well to not feeling too good so quickly.

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