You Have Been Officially Autistic For One Year

You Have Been Officially Autistic For One Year

Unofficially it’s been a few years now, you’re 5, and it was around the age of 2 that we knew you were different to the other children your age.  Facebook memories kindly reminded me this morning that one year ago today we got that letter which officially confirmed you had autism. At the time I started to draft a blog post about it like I have done so many times about autism, I’m pretty sure 100 of the 459 drafts I have on my blog dashboard is on the subject of autism. I find blogging about it difficult, somehow writing it all down makes it feel even more real than what it already is. I read so many brilliant blog posts from autistic parents which put it perfectly into words what I would like to say. So the last year I’ve become more of an autism blog reader than an actual autism blogger.

With the anniversary of his diagnosis, I’ve decided that this is going to change and I’m going to make it my mission to go back through my drafts and finish off those posts. The one’s that I cried over as I tried to put into words what those first few doctor appointments were like to what it was like taking him to his first day at a SEN (special educational needs) school instead of a mainstream one.

So what’s changed in the last year? Honestly? Everything and nothing. Dylan still has autism and always will be, this won’t change, but he will change, as he gets older the way the world seems to him will change, despite his current non-verbal state we know that much without him telling us. He has come on leaps and bounds at school, and I’m so happy he’s there, he’s somewhere where they understand him and cater to his needs. I’m grateful that I have this facility just down the road from us and right opposite Oli’s school which makes the school run so much easier in the morning.

Meltdowns have been rare in the last year, and he copes well with whatever difficult situations we put him through, including a trip to a busy city like New York. His comfort is that pushchair of his when he’s strapped into that he can face whatever the world throws at him. Without it he doesn’t do very well, this means as he outgrows this we’re now looking into the Maclaren Major Elite for him. Distractions work wonders 99/9% of the time, sadly the other weekend when we attended the Asparafest Festival he didn’t do so well at first as we were in a busy stage area. His brother and sister wanted to see Mr Bloom, so we bought out the snacks and the iPad as a distraction, he eventually calmed down as long as the snacks kept coming and there was battery on the iPad, to be kind to him we didn’t stay in that area long and found some bubbles which made him happy.

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He copes so well with his sister now and any noises she makes, she’s learning that at the same time as being a typical toddler that her screams can upset her brother and she needs to have her tantrums away from him. She’s a pretty well-behaved child if we’re honest and is more cheeky than anything, I can already see that’s going to be a brilliant sibling carer as she gets older.  Dylan dotes on his big brother and their relationship over the last year has been as good as it always has been. Dylan’s relationship with us is of one we never thought we would have, the last year has seen him go from no eye contact with people to now wanting to sometimes stare at people directly in the eyes. He will hug us and snuggle up to us and understands us when it comes to things like wanting a kiss goodbye in the morning; he’ll give us one.

Socially yes he wants to be in the comfort of his pram most the time, but he does get out of it now and again, especially for the park, we do usually go to a village park where it’s just us which he loves but he is slowly integrating into busier parks, and he will find something that he likes to play with (mainly swings) and happily go about his own business. I am finding that I’m talking to other parents more and explaining why I’m running like a crazy lady to stop my child going in front of a swing, I’ll tell them Dylan has autism and has no sense of danger as if I’m ordering Chinese. I’m not afraid to us the ‘A’ word anymore, and I now know what to say, and I won’t apologise on behalf of my boy, but I will explain on his behalf.

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There’s so much more I could go into about Dylan such as his food, that has not changed in the last few years. Dry and cold foods such as yoghurts pretty much rule his diet, but this conversation is enough for a blog post itself. Here’s hoping that one makes it beyond the drafts folder.

The #PrezzoLaFamiglia Challenge with Prezzo restaurants

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We were invited by Britmums & Prezzo to go along to our local restaurant to try the new Prezzo La Famiglia sharing dish. If there’s one thing, this family loves its food, especially Italian food! We visited our nearest branch in the Cotswolds medieval market town Tewkesbury and here’s both our review of that dish along with our entry for the #PrezzoLaFamiglia Challenge.

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We were quickly seated upon arrival, given a couple of adult menus (obligatory drinks menu included) and the children given menus which double up as activity sheets. Our first task as a family was to decide which La Famiglia sharing dish we wanted. We had the choice of Penne Arrabiata, Spaghetti Bolognese, Spaghetti Carbonara or Penne Alla Rusticana. We went with the Penne Alla Rusticana (Seasoned chicken, pancetta, peppers and rosemary in a creamy pomodoro sauce) as it sounded incredibly appetising.

Oli is a fussy eater when it comes to Italian food, and won’t eat spaghetti or pasta unless it’s plain, so we ordered him a pizza off the older kids food menu. Our side order consisted of 2 large garlic bread for the table, and our drinks consisted of a couple of coke cola’s, and water’s for the children, Oli’s meal came with a capri sun which his sister consumed.

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We weren’t disappointed with what was served, our sharing bowl was HUGE and I can why it recommended for four people. The taste didn’t disappoint either, the chicken melted in my mouth and the yellow peppers added a burst of flavour alongside the sauce. We thoroughly enjoyed this dish, and I’m already looking forward to going back to try it again.

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The sharing bowl may have been our main reason for coming, but I left Prezzo with a major crush on its large garlic bread. The balsamic onions added something different to the flavour, and it has totally rocked my garlic bread world. I’m glad we ordered 2 for the table as there could have easily been a battle between me, the man and Charlotte over how many slices we got.

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When we had all the pasta, we could consume we were left with some leftovers which they kindly boxed up for us which was perfect for Charlotte’s lunch the next day. Then we were passed the dessert menus to browse; it was a case of being full until we saw what was on offer for pudding. I knew the man wouldn’t be able to resist the honeycomb smash cheesecake while I went for the dolcino option and had a Nutella hazelnut spread and banana mini calzone with a latte. The kids had ice creams; they picked the two scoop option with 1 being chocolate and the other strawberry.  We all rather enjoyed our desserts and found them the perfect ending to our meal.

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Eating together as a family is one of my favourite times of the day, it’s even more enjoyable when eating out and not having to worry about the cooking and cleaning. Our love of food is one thing that brings us together as a family. I loved having the sharing bowl in the middle of the table and being able to divide the portions between us, handy when you have a small child who one day will eat a whole plate, and the next will leave some. This option avoided any of us having leftovers on our plates.

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Our visit was spot on; the sharing dish was worth reviewing as it’s giving us a new favourite family meal, the staff were friendly and were accommodating when I explained Dylan had autism and how we needed a table where he could stay in the comfort of his pushchair. The prices are reasonable, and I couldn’t get over how cheap Oli’s meal was considering it included a reasonable size pizza where he got to pick his topping, a side order where he picked salad, pudding and drink. Prezzo gets a huge thumbs up from Me, The Man & The Kids.

 

This post is an entry for the BritMums #PrezzoLaFamiglia Challenge, sponsored by Prezzo

 

Asparafest Music & Food Festival

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I remember when I first read about the Asparafest Music & Food Festival I thought it was crazy that we had a festival dedicated to celebrating this strange looking vegetable. Then I found out we, the Vale of Evesham is the largest producer of Asparagus within Northern Europe and then I decided actually to try the stuff. It transformed my morning poached eggs, and I couldn’t imagine breaking that soft gooey yolk with anything other than my asparagus tips.

So this year we decided to attend the Asparafest Festival to see for ourselves what this vegetable loving festival was all about.

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We weren’t disappointed with what we found over at Ashdown Farm, Badsey in Evesham. Entrance was £10 each on the gate which would of been £1.50 cheaper if we bought online, under 10s went free, this included a free programme. So we paid £20 for what a jam packed day full of entertainment and free activities.

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There were lots to do for the kids, and after having joined in with the street dance over by the asum stage, we had some ball fun, gooey autism mum moment but Dylan actually got out of his pushchair and joined in with this activity. Super rare for someone who usually finds comfort in staying strapped in his pushchair when there are crowds of people nearby.

He didn’t cope so well when we joined the crowd in front of the stage, but with his iPad and a bag full of snacks, it kept him happy enough for us to watch Mr Bloom while consuming some yummy pulled cajun chicken and skinny fries from one of the food stalls. Check out our video below to see Mr Bloom live in action.

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After we had our mind blown by Mr Bloom’s veggies, we decided to explore the area, but we were instantly greeted by some big bubbles, queue three very excited children!

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We continued our walk and came across the Clik Clik Asparalympics, watched some cookery classes, checked out the falconry,  saw some ferrets and so much more. There were even a  funfair and pony rides, but with our new family frugal pact, we managed to steer the children away from these and back to the free activities.

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My favourite area for the children was the Junkfish Family Crafts area which had lots of activities for the kids to join in with as well as a play area for the smaller children. We made spoon people, crowns and then made shields and swords. Dylan even joined in which made us smile lots.

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Just before we headed home for the day exhausted and happy, we managed to grab a photo with Gus – The Asparagus Man.

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As I was drafting this post, I saw someone had commented on the Asparafest Facebook page about how as adults they had come along, paid £10 on the gate (would have been £8 for the Sunday if they paid online) and was disappointed with what they saw stating that it was aimed more towards children. Quite the contrary, if we had come childless we would have had just as good as time, we would have hit the bar for starters (duh) and checked out the cocktail van. We would have spent longer at all the food exhibitors checking out new flavours, and we would have spent the day listening to the bands and watching the entertainment provided. We might have been a bit of envious of friends who were there last night doing exactly this.

It was the most enjoyable family fun day, and I’m kicking myself for not checking it out in years gone by. We are even thinking about checking out the camping option for next year. Here’s a video snippet of our day at the Asparafest festival.

 

This Morning Live

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Charlotte’s getting to that fun age now where we can have conversations and enjoy activities together. We took advantage of her brothers being at school and spent a Friday visiting this Morning Live which was happening at the NEC in Birmingham.

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It had a 4-day schedule jam packed with the presenters like Holly, Philip & Rylan live on stage, cookery demonstrations and hundreds of stalls to discovered. There were various make-up and skincare giving free makeovers and advice, health workshops and even a pets corner where we got cuddles with the most adorable guide dog.

Mine & Charlotte’s weakness has to be food, and we had so much fun trying out some new foods from the different exhibitors. This salted caramel dessert pot from Bonne Mamam was soooo delicious. I didn’t get a look in once I let Charlotte try it!

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There were some right quirky shopping stalls which gave us so much to browse, we shopped for my best friends birthday presents and treated ourselves to some jewellery, Charlotte got a necklace, bracelet & ring to add to her forever growing collection.

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We ended our day by watching Gino D’Acampo cooking live, he so funny and such a charmer as you can see in the video below. Charlotte & I had such a fun girly day and if it’s on again next year then sign us for tickets!

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The Moment I Realised The Baby Days Were Over

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That moment was yesterday.

I visited The Baby Show yesterday for what felt like the hundredth time since becoming a parent eight years ago. Only it felt different, I felt out of place, like I was no longer part of this club which I’ve been a member of for so long that I cannot remember what life was like before it.  It didn’t help that I was attending my youngest who’s now 3, she’s no baby now, and we didn’t even take her pushchair along with us. I don’t think I’ve been to a baby show before without one of my children being in a pram or baby carrier of their own.

For a while, I’ve known the baby days were well and truly over but it was only yesterday that it did hit me, there are no more babies being housed in this body or this house. It will probably be the last time we will attend The Baby Show unless that day comes where one of my closest friends (yeah I’m looking at you two) becomes pregnant.

You see The Baby Show IS the place to go while pregnant or even after the baby is born, it is the perfect place to see everything you need under one roof, to compare it at the same time and even maybe grab it at a lower price. There are samples to be had and experts on hand to explain to you terminology such as ISOFIX  and rear-facing.

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When I was walking around, I had this inner urge to shout at all the new parents what would be best to buy and what not to bother wasting their money on. But then that makes me one of *those* people; you know the ones that give you that unwanted advice. Out of habit, I went to my favourite exhibitors, those who’s products have been in our parenting lives since the start and have continued to wow us over the years with new products.

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The Baby Show is currently happening at the NEC Birmingham until the 21st May 2017 and then can be found at Olympia in London on the 20th – 22nd October 2017 and ExCel in London 2nd – 4th march 2018.

 

The One With The Cyclist

I feel like we’ve just been in a car crash.

Watching the event unfold in front of my eyes and the way I feel right now after it has happened is the way I felt when we witnessed a horrific accident several years ago and when a car went into the back of us last year. I’m angry, sad and feeling so emotions that I’m already on my second cup of tea and seventh cry this morning.

It was a rainy school run today; it was wellies for the little ones and raincoats all around. When it rains I get the pleasure of Dylan walking, the one day we get to leave the pram at home. I love walking with Dylan in one hand and Charlotte in the other, Oli will walk along near us, and we spend that 10-minute walk chatting. It’s one of my favourite times of the day.

Only today was not one of my favourite days, half way through our school run just as we walked alongside the supermarket and through a well-used entry and exit to this supermarket, a cyclist came speeding down the path and crashed into my family, catching Oli. Her back wheel went up in the air, obviously from braking, and she came off. It was just like a car crash, and the result could have been just as bad as if a car came on the path into my children.

She apologised, but I couldn’t look her in the eyes after my initial look at her. I was too busy trying to calm down my children and find out if Oli was OK. He was distraught and took some calming down. She went off and knew obviously how in the wrong she was as she went on to the road if only she had previously done that.  Oli was ok to walk on, and I made sure he was checked over by a first aider when he arrived at school, he had escaped with just a scrap to the ankle. It could have been so much worse. School promised to contact me if anything changed.

I then went on to drop Charlotte at pre-school, Dylan had already been dropped off as I knew he wouldn’t understand why we needed to go into Oli’s school. She couldn’t stop talking about it, she’s three so, of course, it was confusing to her what had happened. We reassured her Oli was OK but she was telling people ‘Oli is hurt’ so I had to explain to her teachers what had happened.

I hate how someone’s stupid mistake can affect people’s lives, we all make mistakes but when it comes to people’s lives and wellbeing that’s when you need to think. She shouldn’t have been on that path; she should have been on the road, and her shouldn’t have been going so fast in this wet weather. I am very angry at her but yet I’m now wondering if she had hurt herself, guess that’s the Christian inside of me.

Decanting Club

Most of us like receiving fun things in the post but receiving wine in the post beats receiving bills that’s for sure. The Decanting Club offered me the chance to explore some wine with them, a glass at a time and I happily accepted this offer. Wine in the post? Genius idea!

It came with my standard mail (so yeah alongside the bills and various unsolicited post) in a white envelope addressed to me. Inside it contained two sachets of wine for us to try out along with some postcards which included some information about the wine we received.

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The sachets were labelled with which wine it held; we received the Te Awa, Left Field from Hawke’s Bay and the Valle Reale from Trebbiano d’Abruzzo. We got a glass of white wine and a glass of red white to try out which suited the husband and me as I’m a white wine drinker and he’s rather fond of the red. What you’ll get upon signing up is the same but with one 150ml glass of wine for you to swirl, sniff and taste.

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The postcard contained everything we needed to know from the year to the region where it was produced. The other side of the postcard goes into more detail about the wine as well as giving you some handy information about to serve it as well as recommendations on what food to match it with. It will vary each week between red and white with the occasional glass of rose wine chosen by the Decanting Club wine expert.

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A glass of wine during the week is perfect for busy Mums and Dads like me and the Man who want a midweek treat without the temptation (and hangover) which could come with a full bottle of wine. We did like the handy suggestion of what food to team it with, and we took the recommendation on the Valle Reale postcard and had our wine alongside some Spaghetti Carbonara. It was also brilliant having the recommended serving temperature listed, that right temperature really does make a difference to the taste.

Being a member of the Decanting Club means that you get a discount on wine purchased by the case. You simply add the wines that you’re tried and like and you can receive a mixed case. If there’s one wine in particular that you like, then you can purchase a complete case for immediate delivery.

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We think it’s a brilliant service which would make a unique gift for someone if you wasn’t interested in becoming a member yourself. Quite often we pick up a bottle of wine as a thank you/birthday gift, but I like how quirky it would be to give a month’s worth of weekly wine as a gift instead allowing the recipient to try out new wines and be surprised as they receive wine through their letterbox.

The Babysitter Guide

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I’m pretty sure my children make our babysitters broody as we’ve just waved goodbye to our second babysitter as she now has her own child to look after. That’s two babysitters who have gone on to raise their own families and understandably with a newborn they have had to say goodbye to being our babysitters. Thanks to sitters, the best place to find a babysitter we do not have to say goodbye to our childless date nights.

Over seven years babysitters have been one of the most valuable parenting tools we could have in our family life. It allows us to have a break from parenting and do things that only us adults can do. I thought I would put together some useful tips if you’re booking a babysitter for the very first time.

Important Information

Do the children have any allergies or medical conditions that are vital for the babysitter to know? Important for them to know and it may be one of the first questions a paramedic may ask if they had to attend for any reason. One of the very first discussions we have with our babysitters is about Dylan and the fact he has Autism.

Does your child have a comforter that they cannot sleep without? If you child wakes up crying, then it’s always nice for the babysitter to know what may be the cause and how he/she can help get the child back to sleep happily. Especially if it has some weird name so if the child cries out for it, the babysitter knows exactly what they are looking for.

Tell them or leave a list of how things work; this is where our handy prewritten list for housesitters come in handy. We have everything listed including the remote and how to operate the oven, we’ve put it into a handy file along with the manuals. If you’re leaving a baby at home then make sure they understand how the baby monitor operates along with any soothing device baby may have to help them to sleep.

If your child has a schedule leave the babysitter with bottle and meal instructions, nap times, where the nappies are kept and anything else which is in the child’s daily/nightly routine.

Contact details

Always leave your contact information even if you’re just popped down the road, make sure they have your current phone number and if possible the contact information of where you are going that. If you are going out with someone else be it a friend or partner leave their contact details as well in case the babysitter can not get hold of you.

Discuss what they should do in an emergency, basically tell them what you would do in an emergency situation. Leave a spare key with the babysitter in case for any reason they need to leave the house.

What the babysitter can have

We often say to the babysitter to help themselves when it comes to food and drink, but obviously, this does not work for everyone. Let them know if there’s anything specific they can and cannot have.

If the children are in bed then why not share the WIFI password with them so they can use it on their devices. I know personally that I have a whole list of programmes to catch up on.

How to entertain the child/children

If the kids are awake when the babysitter arrives then point them in the direction of what kind of toys and activities will keep the children entertained. You could even put together a basket of toys for them. If the babysitter is feeling rather creative than you could always suggest face painting which is alway a hit with older kids.

 

This is a collaborated post